Nangbaby (nangbaby) wrote,

2010: The Beginning of the End?

Note: This entry has been edited.

A twitpic link is used below because the original link is no longer available to the general public. For the curious, the URL is as follows:

Even with the decreased time I have lately, it's been an annual tradition since 2006 to write a post in reflection of the year, or at least a post just for the heck of it.  In spite of the break I'm taking, I feel it more important than ever to write something at this time, no matter how short or insignificant it may be.  Elitists often argue that the arbitrary boundaries in time societies form are meaningless, and that we should create our own beginnings and ends  However, for the sake of communication and interaction, people need protocols and timetables.  For this reason, I am taking a few minutes out of a busy day to expound upon what I have learned over this year.

In spite of the awful way last year ended, I have to admit, I did start feeling better about myself.  Heck, even in 2008, I started realizing that the number of critics I've received over my time on the Internet -- especially those who are negative toward me because of events from months and years ago -- indicated that they were the ones with the problem.  Despite the amount of words I had written about unprofessional, unqualified, and downright manipulative people, other than the occasional mention, I had stopped worrying about them.  Surely, they would feel the same way.

Boy, was I wrong.

I've had people talk terribly to me and about me.  I've have had enemies form entire communities against me, and turn existing ones into anti-Nangbaby zones.  I've even had people lie about me when the evidence disproving their lies laid in the same threads they created.   All of these were separate instances, though.  When I mentioned conspiracies, people laughed it off, and I eventually began to feel the same way.  Now, it seems the names I've mentioned previously have descended on my journal in droves, replying to entries that are years old to slander me.  Then they brag about anonymizing their data and leave taunting flames and threats.  What makes it worse is that this isn't just "the Internet."  These are people who are lying about me and making false accusations to enhance their own reputation, then get paid because of their enhanced value.  They do not even try to hide it any more, which would be a step up from the previous situations...

...but it seems no one cares.

I don't expect Marvel to fire a man who lied his way to the top.  I do expect, individuals, however few that may be swayed, to look at the body of evidence and realize that unwarranted and specious attacks ruins the unborn careers of ordinary individuals. Denigrating lay people -- both customers and non customers -- who happen to disagree with artists and writers is neither a professional nor legal way to make money.  I do expect other professional writers and artists, who do not even know me, to at least refrain from throwing around offensive comments about those who suffer from autism.   And I would expect my friends to at least, if not caring about the matter, not actively support the same people who have verbally abused and wrongly accused me.  Well, at least most of my friends didn't turn their backs on me.

But I'm finding out, that it doesn't matter that Brian Clevinger, Kel McDonald, Charlie Trotman, and so many others can lie repeatedly and benefit from it.  They'll play the victim in the hopes people will pity them, then people give them money not based on their fiction, prose, or art, but the founded lies about real people and corporations.  They outright state this...but again, no one cares that they disparage a paying audience.  Production trumps morality.

I can't do it any more.  It's one thing to lay down the blade when the other party does not act.  It's another when these people use my inattention as an opportunity to not only make false claims but to earn money as a consequence, abusing their professional status for petty attacks against my person.  Innocent actresses and writers can have their careers ruined over plagiarism and other claims, but instead the artists and writers I mention and link to only make themselves into heroes.

I have been silenced.
Tags: rants, regret

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