So far, Game of Thrones has been Must-Miss TV, although there have been some bright spots. This show is cruelty porn and I'm waiting for this show to at least hook me. If it weren't for the fact that people are referencing this junk left and right, I'd have given up by now.
Episode 5: "The Wolf and the Lion"
We pick up with Mama Stark holding Tyrion Lannister captive, with Tyrion pointing out that if he were to have planned out and tried to kill her son, he wouldn't have used his own dagger (recent events with hate crime hoaxes have made this unintentionally hilarious). Of course, Mama Stark wants justice and takes him to see her sister for some reason, But because things can't be easy, and because people's lives are just fodder for the pain machine, they get ambushed by some hill people, and only Mama Stark, Tyrion, and a couple of her helpers survive.
We eventually see said sister, and she's yet another person with mental issues in this show, literally nursing a boy that will be going through puberty soon. Sister MilkMaid puts Tyrion in a dungeon missing a wall that is at the edge of a cliff, which aside from the exposure does give me the willies; I move in my sleep so I can easily see someone sleepwalking off the side.
Do we have to lay it on this thick for the Imp for pain? At this rate, I'd rather Tyrion actually be guilty of ordering the hit on Bran, because this show is making him suffer as much as the women do.
And, of course, the women get to be sex objects, and the slow progress we were getting towards agency has tapered. We also get an LGBT sex scene, although in comparison to the women having full frontal nudity, everything is more "restrained" with discretionary cuts...on HBO.
But the main meat of the episode comes when Arya (yes, I had to cheat to look up this girl's name, as I thought it was Alya) overhears a conversation between two figures. Worse yet, the king, who opens the episode in a jovial mood, now is angered by the news that Daenerys is pregnant and Ned Stark has to oversee her death.
Ned, of course, refuses because while he has no problem with hacking off the head of a coward he draws the line at murdering a pregnant woman, then quits his job. But his "friend" Littlefinger (who is so obviously bad news at this point) decides to tempt him by telling him about the last person John Arryn saw before he died. So Ned takes the bait, Incest Charming intercepts Ned, leading Ned to declare that he is behind his wife's abduction of Tyrion. Incest Charming fights Ned and one of the Lannister's fighters deeply wounds him in the leg...and that's it.
- I mean, why are they prolonging this whole Daenerys is "with child" arc? I haven't looked up Daenerys other than to spell her name, and even then I let Google make the suggestion. But this baby isn't surviving to term. Again, I've seen too many soap operas to see where this is going.
- Flower Knight annoys me. Here you think that Sansa found a boy she liked and as a result there'd be a triangle, but, no he's as gay as Zoisite from Sailor Moon...and as much of a schemer as well. A 2010s show is regurgitating 90's gay stereotypes. Two Snaps Up!
- The Mountain is a sore loser. That poor horse!
- Where was the oldest legitimate Stark boy?
- Bran's scene was supposed to be exposition, but I could not make out half the dialogue and I don't care to replay it. He's rightly mad at his mother for deciding to pursue vengeance instead of being by his side.
- The deterioration of Ned Stark and the King's relationship happened awfully fast.