Episode 13: "What is Dead May Never Die"
Meanwhile, Tyrion is once again, showing us why this show should center on him and his antics. He realizes he has a spy and he plans to ferret out the squealer. He tells the old doddering advisor he plans to marry off a girl to one person, he tells that bald eunuch -- who I am calling Uncle Fester because apparently, he's an important player -- he plans to marry her off to someone else, and then he gives a third name to Don't Trust Me, Bro. The last of the three later realizes he's been had and confronts Tyrion about it, but nothing comes of it from what I can tell.
Also, Tyrion sends his Melania to be Sansa's handmaid. Melania doesn't know how to be a handmaid, so Sansa, having a horrible day, is mean to her, only to relent and allow Melania to brush her hair.
Later, Tyrion meets with Incest Queen, who is livid. Oh, that girl he was talking of marrying off was her daughter And she recalls how she was forcibly married to the former King Robert in a similar way. However, from the name she says as the potential husband, Tyrion deduces that it was the old man who was the spy, and the guards take him away as he's getting serviced by a whore. Tyrion pays her a coin, then pays her again with another coin.
And up north, Jon Snow's dramatic investigation comes to nothing, because he got hit on the head, dragged back to camp, then got chewed out by his boss for interfering where he didn't belong, telling Jon that he needs the help of Wildling men like their host. So nothing comes of this. Don't be a hero, Jon.
Finally, there's Arya's plot thread, and the King's Guard again attack the caravan. The caravan leader tells Arya and the boy from the forge -- I'm calling him "MiniTaur" because I can't catch these names and his increased focus suggests he's going to be around for a while-- to get away and hide, while he rallies all of the other boys to defend themselves. And the caravan leader gets killed, which is good because I kept confusing him with Tyrion's sellsword/BFF. So yet another character dies whose name I don't remember. Arya and MiniTaur don't get away (in part because Arya decides to help some captives who were teasing her), so the guards they ask which one of the boys is the one they're looking for...and Arya points to a boy who had MiniTaur's helmet.
- No Daenerys makes me sad, but no Joffrey makes me glad.
- Bran's teacher seemed to make a dig at Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings with the idea of magic being dead and kids wanting to be special. Of course in this universe, magic is alive in the form of blue-eyed zombies and likely man-eating dragons (hey, they aren't eating any other meat).
- It's possible that Uncle Fester and Don't Trust Me, Bro set up that Dotard to outfox Tyrion's trap. I hope so, because these three can play schemer well, unlike Incest Queen, Incest Charming, and Joffrey.