Episode 16: "The Old Gods and the New"
So we open up with the Waterboy and his contingent taking over Winterfell, cementing his heel turn. He gets Bran to yield to him on the condition that no one is harmed. Unfortunately, this one old guy isn't putting up with the Waterboy and spits at him. Waterboy wants to at first put him in jail, but his men tell him that he's got to kill the old man to get respect. Bran's old mentor - they call him a Maester, and he does seem like a little like Grand Maester Mika....but I'll call him Maechen, who wasn't a Maester, but whatever - tells him the man is more valuable alive. It doesn't work and the old guy is dead.
Elsewhere, in the capital, Incest's Queen daughter (no, she's not an Incest Princess, since she's a little girl) is is literally shipped away, just as Tyrion negotiated, so his whole plot to ferret out the traitor wasn't a complete ruse. Unfortunately, this is a public event in which Joffrey attends, and people are getting sick of of Joffrey and his stupid cruelty. He gets mud (or poop) thrown in his face. Irate, Joffrey demands that the person who threw the mud at him be brought to him, which only prompts the mob to strike harder and soon it's a free for all. Some guys in the crowd grabs Sansa (who was in attendance) and force her on the ground, either to rape her or to kill her. Once to safety, Tyrion tries to literally slap some sense into Joffrey, telling him that he's known stupid kings and cruel kings, but not one that has been as both stupid and cruel as him. He also notices Sansa is missing and tries to order someone to get her, but Joffrey refuses to send anyone and instead has a mini-meltdown.
So Sansa is nearly done for, except the scarred knight who's Joffrey's bodyguard comes and saves her.
And all the way in Qarth, Daenerys goes again to the Shark Tank to ask for an investment in her company, Reclaim the Iron Throne, but Mr. Wonderful, the head merchant, sees no value in her proposal and says he's out. Renfield continues to ask Daenerys to marry him, and she says no and as they walk back, they stumble on a pile of dead bodies, and Daenerys' dragons have been stolen.
In the Superjail, Bad Dad leaves a piece of paper that he "accidentallly' leaves' Don't Trust Me, Bro speaks to Bad Dad, and Bad Dad makes Arya serve them wine. She also grabs a piece of paper conveniently left for her to see and grabs it. However, Arya makes a mistake and nearly gets discovered, so she calls on her new hitman friend to kill off the man who discovered her.
Meanwhile, Jon Snow accompanies the Scouting Regiment. His direwolf has contracted Moon Moon Syndrome and is following its own nose throughout the countryside. Anyway, the group comes across Wildlings, one of which is a woman. The group tells him to catch up with them He can't bring himself to kiill her and she runs away. By the time he catches her it's near dark, so he sits down next to her and uses her living body to keep him warm -- I mean that precisely, not as a euphemism. Yes, a man and a woman can be friends in this show without screwing. I'm shocked.
And back in camp, HeartRobb makes googly eyes at Florence Nightingale, who admits, she is a Lady, but Mama Stark comes back and reminds him that he has been pledged to another woman. Also, he learns that Waterboy has taken over Winterfell. However, he's advised to not to move on Winterfell since they're winning the war against the Lannisters. HeartRobb sends a small contingent to Winterfell, wants the Waterboy captured alive so he can kill him.
And in Winterfell, the Waterboy lets that Wild Thing seduce him, only for her to go and help Bran and Maechen escape, and the direwolves, too.
- Sending the little princess away is probably best for her, because King's Landing is going to be a bad, bad place to live.
- However, how long will it be before Incest Queen makes her move against Melania?
- Renfield has made it three episodes. Maybe this guy will live long-term.
- I'm low-key disturbed by how no one seems to be worried that there's a supernatural shadow monster killing people? Why can't they send one after Joffrey?