Episode 22: "Dark Wings, Dark Words"
This episode opens with Bran Stark having another fever dream. He's recreating or remembering the act from the first episode where he was learning to shoot, except he's clearly a couple of years older, He sees that three eyed crow, then tries to shoot it but misses. Then he wakes up. He and Wild Thing and Mongo (formerly known as Half-wit) and Baby Stark are all walking on this side rode when they meet a boy and his sister, who I hope won't be on this show long because I don't feel like making names for this couple.
We also find out what happened to the Waterboy after he got knocked out. He was spread out and put on torture device. They want answers, he gives them. They torture him more.
Elsewhere up north of the wall, Jon Snow is accompanying this Wildling King, who I'm going to call Nanook of the North. He sees a guy with white eyes looking into the sky while a bird flies overhead. They laugh at Jon and ask him if he's never heard of a "warg." I had heard of one, but I thought it was a type of wolf...oh wait, I see what you did there Game of Thrones. Meanwhile up north, the commander, who I'm calling Crowmander since the Wall People are now "crows," tells one of the men picking with Sam that he's responsible for getting Sam to safety.
Also, HeartRobb's grandfather died, but HeartRobb has a conversation with one of his advisors, who claims that he lost his war the day he married Florence Nightengale. So wait, this is known to everyone? That one lord won't be happy he's not getting Stark grandchildren.
Meanwhile, Faline and her grandmother want to talk to Sansa and they ask her how. Sansa stupidly tells them the truth. Seriously, does she not know she is being played? Did she forget this is what happened to her father? Even if she's a bad liar, she has to lie. Anyway, Faline bats her doe eyes and tries to find out what makes Joffrey tick. She stokes his flame for violence.
Tyrion only has a small role this episode, acting as a soundboard for Melania, who is worried about Sansa and Don't Trust Me, Bro. However, when Tyrion suggests Sansa will be fine, Melania gets jealous to the point where he suggests that he has a thing for Sansa. I actually like the Melania in this show, but I'm getting to the point where I hope she dies already, because with all the foreshadowing she is not long for this world.
Elsewhere, Arya, MiniTaur, and Porky are walking when MiniTaur points out that Arya could have used her three killing wishes the assassins gave her on Bad Dad, Joffrey, or anyone else to bring this show to a merciful end. They get approached by a group of men who claim to be fighting on their own, and they force Arya and her pals to accompany them to the taven
However, the Men Without Borders or whatever aren't savages. After Arya picks a fight but he quickly disarms her, but says he's letting her and her companions go.
But things can't be this easy. Scarface is brought in the tavern as a prisoner and as soon as he sees Arya, he reveals her as a Stark.
Meanwhile, Serheant Calhoun and Incest Charming continue their walk in the woods towards King's Landin. Someone spots them, and Incest Charming tells Sergeant Calhoun to kill the man. Sergeant Calhoun refuses, because she has morals and thinks that Incest Charming is trying to bait her into shedding innocent blood. So later, they have to cross an abandon bridge. Incest Charming feigns fatigue and then decides to attack Sergeant Calhoun with one of her own swords, and she fights him back. She wins, but sadly Incest Charminng was right as the man from before identifies him to men who fly under Stark's banners.
- I get that the "Kingsroad" is like the highway, but it can't take that long to get to the wall, especially from Winterfell which is to the north of much of the action.
- How did Scarface get to where Arya and crew were when he just left King's Landing a few episodes ago, after the trio escaped from Superjail to the north of the capital?
- We didn't get any Daenerys in this episode. I am starting not to miss her. I'm still salty she stole Renfield's gold (there are have been only five people of color on this show and at least three of them have died).
- They really had better do a timeskip after this season because all the kids no longer look like kids and it's no longer plausible that it has only been a couple of months that have passed.
- Is there a connection between the three eyed raven and the Survey Corps?