Episode 23: "Walk of Punishment"
This episode opens up with a very good scene where HeartRobb's army is at a funeral, where the old man is on a funeral pyre that was set out into the river. The archer tries to shoot flame-tipped arrows, but none of the shots make it. Another guy takes the bow and arrow to shoot the arrow perfectly and set the boat ablaze.
Back in the capital Bad Dad and the Council also meet, everyone looking at each other in silence. Tyrion pulls a chair up to the table and after a stilted, short exchange, everyone gets down to business. Don't Trust Me, Bro is supposed to go back to Milkmaid Mountaintop to woo the MilkMaid, but that means someone needs to be in charge of the Treasury while he is away, and Bad Dad appoints Tryrion to the task of managing the money for the wedding. Tyrion looks through the books, and to notices that they have been cooked . He also gives his squire, Pod, money to pay whores to service him. Pod returns the money to Tyrion.
Meanwhile, on the shore of Dragonstone, Madame Red says she has to go and is about to depart via boat. Stannis wants to make another child with her, and by child, he means smoke monster to kill people. Madame Red says he's too weak right now, but that she will come back. Stannis is the poster child of being "whipped."
Up north, Nanook of the North wants to atack the wall. Meanwhile , all of the horses of the Survey Corps were cut in half. The men themselves retreated all the way back to the village next to the wall.
Out East, Daenerys walks among the people being crucified along the seawall. Obi-Wan and Mormont both advise Daenerys what to do, and so Daenerys says she's doing things her way. She offers all of her Dothraki followers, her ship, her gold, and one of her dragons in exchange for 8,000 human robots and a handmaiden.
Elsewhere in the woods the men without borders spare Arya and make her a hues Prison. Porky decides to stay behind and become a permanent baker. He gives her a bread loaf shaped as wolf as a farewell present.
Waterboy is set free by a man, nearly detained and caught, then freed from the jam by the man again as captive.
And elsewhere there are two Lannister cousins, captive.
But, surprisingly enough, Incest Charming and Sergeant Calhoun are in the woods, aloe captive. He suggests Sergeant Calhoun let her captors have their way with her, but when she resists the rape, he tries to pretend he's the Joker from The Dark Knight. He tells the guards that she's the daughter of the lord of the Sapphire Isle and needs to have her honor in tact. You almost want to root for the guy since even if he is only doing this out of self-interest, he does clearly want to spare Sergeant Calhoun. He goads the guards into removing him from the tree he's manacled to and asks for a meal. Instead they remove him from the tree...and cut off his right hand.
I haven't cheered this loudly since Viserys died.
I'll stop calling him Incest Charming. He's earned the right to be called by his real name, Jamie Lannister, if this hand loss turns out to be real.
- So the first time Incest Char-- I mean, Jamie -- tries to do something even remotely good, if completely selfish, he gets hit by karma hard. If this has been happening all his life, maybe that's why he's a jerk.
- Apparently, it has been a year in real-time since Jamie Lannister was captured. That seems to be a little longer than I expected/
- No Joffrey made the episode a lot better.
- Florence Nightengale tells the captive Lannister boys that the rumors of HeartRobb turning into a wolf to devour his enemies are true. Again, why or why couldn't this show have actual werewolves?