Game of Thrones was doing so well...and now we're in stallsville again. Do we get out? Or do we watch more sex, lies, and dragon tape?
Episode 27: "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"Basically this episode is "No one is getting where they need to go."
Let's start with the kids' storylines, because at least there isn't much licentiousness going on here.
Wild Thing is still angry that Bran is listening to the Brother and Sister Act, and then she reveals her past where she was from North of the Wall. She had a husband or long-term boyfriend who left one day and then came back as a blue-eyed zombie and tried to kill her. She killed him instead and burned the hut down, too.
Meanwhile Arya's still sulking and fuming about the Brotherhood taking MiniTaur away. These Merry Men without Borders here about a Lannister caravan and want to rob it. Disgusted, Arya runs away. The men chase after her but then she is quickly scooped up by another figure in the woods, yes, Scarface!
Oh, and Madame Red tells MiniTaur that Robert Baretheon is his father while on a boat as they sail away past the capital.
We also get some fan service with Daenerys and the dragons. Daenerys wants to free all of the slaves in the nearby city, but her advisor says that this isn't getting any closer to taking over Westeros. She's gone full White Savior mode, though and wants to free all 200,000 slaves so she meets with one of those lead slavers. He offers are gold and a ship for her to get out of dodge, but she refuses, taking his gold and threatening his life. He huffs away, both insulted and scared. I'm noticing a pattern here with her using her dragons as a get out of work-free card and I"m not sure I like it...but she's still better than the alternative.
And in more fan service Bad Dad talks To Joffrey while the latter in on the throne. He's really not a Bad Dad at this point. Joffrey wants a report and Bad Dad gives one to him, dressing the boy down in his summation. Basically he tells Joffrey that he's running things and if the boy wants to act like a king, he has to grow up.
But of course this wouldn't be Game of Thrones without sex. Jon Snow and his Cherry Popper and their contingent have me over the ice wall and are now in this greenery area which is not dissimilar to greenery area that Bran is in. He and this woman do a lot of kissing and even her brother gives Jon Snow lovemaking tips. The warg is jealous Cherry Popper chose Jon Snow over him. Also more boring drama as to whether Jon Snow will betray his fellow Wall Cultists.
But that isn't enough sex so we get our first taste of nudity with HeartRobb and Florence Nightengale. The two of them share passion between their skins. She then later tells her husband that she is with child. Given how much sex these people have I'm surprised it didn't happen much sooner.
But because there wasn't enough sex this episode we have Waterboy, who is taken from his torture rack and attended to by nubile women who free him to have their way with them. Of course then the torturing fellow -- I'm calling him Jigsaw - bursts in with a trumpet and interrupts the fun. He then essentially says he's going to cut of Waterboy's penis.
Thankfully the act is not shown but we still get more gore, as we get another close up shot of Jamie's healing wound. Jamie and the doctor have a little chat and then he learns from the guy escorting him that Sergeant Calhoun is not safe. The lord of the house thinks that thanks to Jamie's lie, Sergeant Calhoun is valuable, and will want more money for her than her dad could pay, so she's going to be a playtoy.
Suddenly, Jamie realizes two things.
- His lying directly put her in danger.
- She knew his lying put her in danger but she was willing to let him go so that he would be safe...so he owes her....and a Lannister always pays his debts.
Jamie has learned that he is starting to care about what happens to other people outside his family...and what it means to be a friend. You can actually see the gears turning on the actor's face, so kudos to him on selling this character's transition.
Jamie learns he needs to do the right thing, even at his own personal cost. Not just taking a reputation hit, but putting himself in danger. Friendship is Magic.
He then convinces his captors to take him back to Superjail. He does and he finds they're making that dynamite gal fight a bear, so he jumps into the pit, rescues her, then gets pulled back up.
Is Jamie...turning into a hero?
- Boy, does Florence Nightengale have some big feet. Her feet were bigger than HeartRobb's!
- Okay, I get you're going for maximum torture, but everyone knows if you're going to cut off someone's manhood that you don't work them up. Otherwise they'll bleed to death.
- Isn't Don't Trust Me, Bro in charge of Superjail now? Why wasn't he there?
- All these outdoor locations are starting to look very similar. It's hard for me to know where everyone is since everyone is now walking in front of green rolling hills.