Episode 32: "The Lion and the Rose"
(By the way, if the LJ-cut link doesn't appear, the magic word is "DAMN!")
So this episode has Jigsaw McGraw and one of his female servants chasing and hunting another female servant, with the second servant being shot with an arrow. Waterboy, who has been renamed "Reek" by his torturer, limps along and follows as Jigsaw McGraw orders his hunting dogs to kill the fallen servant.
Later, his daddy and HeartRobb's slayer, Lord Bolton, arrives at the fort. He basically chews his bastard son out because Waterboy was supposed to be a hostage, not a plaything. Jigsaw McGraw then shows his father that the Waterboy is under his control and also reveals than Bran and Baby Stark are alive.
At the same time, Bran is spending more time in the mind of his direwolf, and the Brother and Sister act warn him that he can't do that. They're north of the wall, by the way Meanwhile, Moon Moon comes back. Bran has more visions, not only of his father, but of some of the same things Daenerys saw in her vision quest. It's all connected.
Elsewhere, Madame Red is burning more human sacrifices. Stannis's wife is so much in love with this religion, that she badmouths her own daughter for being sullen and cursed. Just like her daddy, right? The man who everyone says never smiles. So they have Madame Red talk to the little girl to try to indoctrinate her into the cult. I don't think the girl is having it. I like her.
Also, in the capital, Jamie Lannister wants to be a King's Guard, but he knows that if people find out he can't fight, they're going to jump on him, so Tyrion has his BSS, start to train him.
Plus, Tyrion breaks up with Melania, telling her he used her and she was nothing to him. She acts like she believes it, although clearly, Tyrion does not want to do it. BSS accompanies Melania to the ship and she supposedly sails away.
But, after so many delays, we get to the royal wedding, and it is a splendid affair...if by splendid, you mean awful. While there is ceremony, this is a wedding that no one, even Bad Dad , is happy about. Why? Because King Joffrey uses the occasion to show his rear end. Not only does he start hacking on a table with his new Valerian steel sword, he has people throw things at his fool for entertainment, hacks open the wedding pie and kills some of the birds trapped inside, and puts on a re-enactment show with dwarves (as in little people, not supernatural dwarves). Even Bad Dad is uncomfortable with this (even though he was responsible for these acts). Other than Joffey, the ONLY one laughing at everything is Incest Queen, and even she gets in a snit when she speaks to Sergeant Calhoun and realizes the latter is in love with her brother. So she rejects Jamie the last epsiode and gets jealous now?
...but I'm getting sidetracked. There's the re-enactment of the five kingdoms, with Joffrey's counterpart beating the representations of Young Buck, Stannis, the Old Man of the Sea, and HearthRobb. Joffrey then tells Tyrion to go and fight the dwarves, as in literally fight them. Tyrion then tells Joffrey to go fight the dwarves himself. For that insult, Joffrey pours wine all over Tyrion's head, who has to take it...then even makes Tyrion be his cupbearer for the rest of the ceremony.
Does this boy have a death wish? Yes, and when Tyrion serves him his wine, Joffrey starts to choke and collapse. Then he dies, with his mother over him.
And then she yells and claims Tyrion poisoned her son!
- There is a recurring theme about young people who are cruel and older figures saying that you have to rein in being cruel, only for the young people to not listen. Viserys, Joffrey, and now Jigsaw have fallen into this trap.
- Can we get an Arya vs. Jamie swordfight, please?
- While it wouldn't put it past Incest Queen or Bad Dad to kill Joffrey for being so stupid, they do care about their family. Yeah, Incest Queen has that other son, but she has to wait until he gets a little older. There are only two real suspects in my eyes - the Flower Knight (who conveniently went away about the time if the poisoning) and Don't Trust Me, Bro. I'm going with Don't Trust Me, Bro, even if he wasn't in the episode.
- People are looking at the poison, but Tyrion oviously didn't do it because he was the cup bearer and he would have been poisioned. The answer of course is the sword is poisoned! What else would Joffrey be touching?