Episode 33: "Breaker of Chains"
We open up in the aftermath of Joffrey's sudden demise. Sansa is bid by the fool she saved to run and she does, donning a hooded cloak. The fool leads Sansa down the back alleys of the capital and to a row boat. He then heads with her to a ship that is hidden in the fog, then bids her to climb aboard. He does so and then meets her rescuer -- who, by the way also kills the fool who rescued her and reveals the whole necklace story to be a ruse -- Don't Trust Me, Bro.
Why am I not surprised?
And why do I have the feeling Sansa would be safer in the capital? Maybe because her last two avenues of escape would have probably led her to her doom. Sansa, you are safer at King's Landing; everyone knows you're too stupid to even plot a poison plot and even Incest Queen, as furious as she is, she won't kill you; you're the last known Stark. You're too valuable to get killed as long as Bad Dad is around, and surely Sergeant Calhoun and Jamie...
...or maybe not...because Jamie is grieving, but he underwent the worst character reversion I have seen since Sylar.
After Bad Dad took New King, Joffrey's brother, away from where Joffrey's body was on display, Incest Queen and Jamie Lanmniser share a moment together. Incest Queen wants Tyrion dead, but Jamie counters that Tyrion is their brother., Jamie wants to start making another Joffrey. Incest queen sys no. He decides to continue with the foreplay. She says stop, pushies him off her, and rebuffs him.
So Jamie Lannister rapes his own sister next to their dead son.
YOU SON A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.?THE STORLYINE WAS JUST SETTING YOU UP TO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET WITH THE WOMAN WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE. YOU WERE GROWING AND LEARNING HOW TO CARE FOR OTHERS, YOU SICK FUCK! I HAD EVEN FORGIVEN YOU FOR BRAN'S ATTEMPTED MURDER AND THEN YOU GO AND DO THIS! GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE NO LONGER JAMIE LANNISTER. BACK TO "INCEST CHARMING" IT IS. NO NAME FOR YOU! YOUR SISTER IS A BITCH BUT SHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE RAPED, YOU ASSHOLE!
I hate Incest Queen. She deserves to die a worse death than her kid did. But she did not deserve to be raped, especially by the only man she ever truly loved...and her brother.
Other junk happened in this episode.
In the capital, Bad Dad confronts Oberon, the new guy who arrived into town and offers him a chance to be a judge in Tyrion's trial. Tryion, of course, is in jail, and is trying. He's visited by Podric, who informs him that he hasn't heard from Melania, Sansa has fled. Tyrion does want to see Incest Charming. When Podric tells Tyrion they offered Podric a reward for lying, but Podric refused, Tryon realizes that they will just kill Podrick and tells him to get out of King's Landing.
Faline is worried that she won't be queen, but Granny Goodwench tells her that she can work her magic on the New King. Ew...
Arya and Scarface get taken in by a farmer and his very young daughter, who are nice enough to feed them and give Scarface a job offer. Scarface repays them by attacking the man and stealing his silver. Arya screams this was wrong, but Scarface says they'd be dead soon anyway.
Elswhere the Wildlings and the Cannibals feast on a village, sparing one child and letting him run all the way to Castle Black. Jon Snow reveals he told the Wildlings that there are 1,000 men there, but their numbers are only 100, and that's counting a blind man. Poor Sam, though, wants to protect Mamacita and her baby, but knows the men at the wall are eyeing her flesh. So he takes her to Irontown or whatever where all the whores work and secures her board there.
Elsehwere in Dragonstone, Stannis, as always, is angry. Why? Because Joffrey is dead but he doesn't have an army to take advantage of the power vaccum, thanks to letting MiniTaur go. CrabMan says he's working on it. Later, CrabMan goes to Stannis daughter, who is also cross with him and has reading material for him. I really, really like this girl, and I'm worried this too-sweet-for-this-sinful-world child is going to die. Anyway, CrabMan realizes how to get an army and has her write a letter in Stannis' name to ask the Iron Bank for help.
And then the episode ends very, very weirdly. You see Daenerys' adventures are so disconnected with anything that is going on that it's bad enough we have to cut away, but now that she has an army, dragons, and three of the best swordsmen of the world at her side, she's not even suffering any more. Anyway, she marches up to yet another city, where her forces are met by a champion on horseback and there are silly antics like the man peeing on the ground and saying the Mother of Dragons has a penis. Daenerys allows Dario to fight him, so Dario kills the champion, and Daenerys, with some obvious CG catapults , tosses the chains of her freed slaves over the city walls, saying, "yes, you too can be liberated."
So the theme of this epsiode is adults are awful and only kids have morals that adults slowly beat out of them.
- It's interesting that Tyrion doesn't suspect Don't Trust Me, Bro framed him, but from his perspective he would have no reason to - Don't Trust Me, Bro has been off the canvas for a while, and he has been careful to only show the true depths of his depravity to Uncle Fester.
- Seriously, if the Lannisters were willing to tell the truth, the perfect solution is as follows: Let Stannis take the throne, but in exchange his daughter has to marry the eldest Lannister grandchild, Joffrey's brother. So far, Joffrey's brother doesn't seem to be Joffrey, and we see that this Stannis girl is both smart and has her own measure of kindness. Real Baretheon blood would counterbalance the greedy Lannister traits, and you could have kid with Bad Dad's strategem and Stannis' bravery and have a wise, just, and smart king, Yes, she's be marrying her own legal cousin, but uniting Stannis and the Lannister would put the kIngdom on stronger footing.
- Where the heck are the dragons? I half expected one of them to fly in and kill that champion.