I can't believe I just wrote this. Game of Thrones isn't just highly entertaining...this episode was fun!
Episode 38: "The Mountain and the Viper"
We open up in Old Town or whatever and Manx's Wildling Army is slaughtering people left and right. However, Merida spares Mamacita and her baby because they were hiding.
At the wall, Sam is filled with regret, but the others reassure him that Mamacita survived via plot armor and the fallacy of sunk costs.
All the way to the east, the Unsullied are taking a bath at the same river or stream as the girls. I had to cheat to look up her name, because otherwise I would have NEVER caught it, but anyway, a naked Missandei is stared at by Grey Worm, and she is surprised, since the Unsullied have been "cut" and presumably castrated.
Later, in the throne room, Grey Worm tries to apologize in both his native language and the common tongue (English). Apparently Mormont has been teaching him how to speak the language. There s wonderful character work where Missandei expresses pity that he was mutilated Grey Worm explains he would not be Unsullied if he had not been castrated, and two of them come to an understanding.
However, there is real trouble in Mereen as that letter sent a couple of episodes finally gets there and is sent to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan looks at the le. Apparently, Mormont was pardoned by Robert Baretheon. Yes, he was pardoned two kings ago. The reason for the pardon, of course, is that Mormont was supposed to spy on Daenerys. Mormont tries to explain, but Oi-Wan doesn't care, and he shows it to Daenerys, who throws Mormont out of Mereen and out of her kingdom.
Look, Daenerys, you're awesome at times, but unless this is a feint, this is single-handedly the most stupid thing you have done. This man has been with you, not just through the Dothraki mess, but through the Death Valley desert, through the sorcerer town, and through your conquest. This man is as loyal as Grey Worm. Why would you throw him to the curb over something that hasn't been relevant since your brother died? It's stupid overreactions like this which make you unfit to rule Westeros. There'a a problem when Stannis is more forgiving than you.
Plus, Mormont is a wise and a strong fighter. Obi-Wan can't advise you forever. If you're acting like this because you're Doing the Dario, you deserve whatever STD that dude has.
Elsewhere, Jigsaw McGraw sends Reek as the Waterboy to demand a surrender of a fort. The head of the fort refuses and sees that Waterboy isn't himself, but he's quickly killed and everyone accepts the terms of surrender. Then they get flayed alive. Anyway, the fort is taken, and Lord Bolton is pleased. He tells Jigsaw McGraw that he rules the North, and he has a special present for this son...he's officially claiming him. So from this day forth, Jigsaw McGraw is now Ramsay Bolton.
Back at the MilkMaid Mountaintop, the MilkMaid is dead and people have questions. Don't Trust Me, Bro tell the obvious lie that MilkMaid jumped to her death. In a callback to season 1, they call in Sansa to give her own account. Sansa instead starts out telling the truth, revealing her identity, and recounting everything that happened (including the kiss), but deviates at the end by saying that after trying to throw her out the Veil, the MilkMaid instead jumped. And the people believe this.
I guess I'm confused. Wouldn't the obvious lie that should be told would be that MilkMaid fell while Don't Trust Me, Bro tried to save Sansa? I mean that's much closer to the truth than this whole "suicide" angle.
But they swallow it and we learn a lot. We learn that Robin is sickly (he seemed perfectly physically healthy to me), that Ned Stark came from MilkMaid Mountaintop (what?), and most of all, we learn Sansa now is wearing a dark dress and has done the equivalent of an evil costume switch.
So she's turned heel?
Not too far away, Scarface and Arya arrive at the gate to the MilkMaid Mountaintop, only to find out the MilkMaid is dead. So, do they enter, or what?
We get to this wonderful character-building scene where Tyrion and Incest Charming reminisce on a member of their family who had been rendered mentally impaired after being dropped on the head as a baby. For the rest of his days, he was obsessed with smashing beetles, and Tyrion became obsessed with knowing the answer, but despite all of his attempts, never found out.. This is a really well-written, well-shot, well-acted, well-choreographed scene that was a monologue. I feel like I'm watching peak Game of Thrones.
Why did this show take until the fourth season to establish this relationship between Incest Charming and Tyrion? He's actually likable when he's with his brother...or with any people outside of his family. It's his toxic sister that makes him do stupid things. The obvious solution is to kill her. Then kill him for raping her. I still haven't forgotten that. And trying to make us hate the Mountain for an off-screen rape and murder isn't going to cut it.
Ah, but there is the final scene, the fight between Oberyn -- I had been spelling his name wrong all this time -- and the Mountain. If you didn't know the Mountain was an important character, you would be surprised, because Oberyn clearly has the upper hand as he knows to keep moving. This is a VERY well done scene which again, should be watched. However, he lets his hate get the better of him and instead of finishing a fallen Mountain up, he wants to make him confess. The Mountain reveals he's been playing possum and grabs poor Oberyn then confesses...as he gouges his eyes and smashes and tears apart the poor man's head with his bare hands!
So Tyrion is sentenced to die.
- Are we ever going to get back to that sorcerer plot or is that plotline dead?
- I'm worried about Scarface's wound. We say what happened to Khal Drogo.
- If the Unsullied are castrated, how do they maintain the muscle mass needed to be fine warriors?
- Sansa says she had no friends in the capital. As manipulative as she was, Faline was sorta being a good friend to Sansa, as was the Flower Knight. And Melania was Sansa's friend, too. Oh, and don't forget Tyrion, the husband who swore to protect her, never laid a hand on her, etc. She did have friends in the capital.