Episode 42: "The House of Black and White"
So Arya is making her way to the free city of Bravos, and as she passes under the statue of the man, I realize this is the same city Stannis went to for his loan from the Iron Bank. I thought the city was named "Brandon" from the title. Oh, well, she gets ferried to a building that has a black door and a white door. An old man answers the door. She asks him if the assassin is here but he says there's no one there by that name. So she waits day after day through rain and sun like Cheetara did in the Thundercats 2011 reboot, except unlike Cheetara, her patience is not rewarded and she throws the coin in into the water.
In King's Landing, Incest Queen tries to use her authority as Queen Regent to pack the open Cabinet positions with the people she wants. Her uncle doesn't want to listen to her and goes home to Casterly Rock.
In secret, though, she's furious because people from Oberyn's land sent her her daughter's necklace. She's mad and she wants Incest Charming to do something about it. Incest Charming relents and says he will go rescue their daughter, and decides to recruit BSS for the task. By recruit, I mean marry off the girl he was promised to someone else, then asking him to join Incest Charming to get the daughter back. BSS accepts.
Meanwhile, in Dawn, Oberyn's widow is angry and demands an audience...who is played by none other than Alexander Siddig himself, who will forever be Dr. Bashir. So Oberyn's window, who I'm calling Titania, is mad at Prince Bashir for just sitting around and not taking his revenge out on Incest Queen's daughter. He says they don't have to do that.
At the wall, Jon Snow is reprimanded by Stannis for showing mercy, but because Stannis believes in the carrot and the stick method, he gived Jon Snow an offer; he will. It's a good offer, Jon This wall thing isn't working out for you and you're still young. Of course Jon Snow refuses, but Stannis pretty much tells him to think about it.
Getting Jon to think...and you say Game of Thrones isn't funny.
Anyway, Shereen teaches Mamacita how to read. We find out more about Shereen and her facial condition. Apparently, there is a disease that causes skin to turn to dragon scales. Hers was stopped as a baby. This means that Daenerys; stillborn child likely had a case of this disease too. Mamacita explains that a couple of her sisters also had the disease, but were separated from the other kids. Eventually they grew animalistic before dying, although whether this was due to the condition or due to the isolation is not clear.
Seriously, Shereen should be queen. Just let Stannis take the throne, please, and in a few years, she can inherit it.
Elsewhere down south, Podric and Sergeant Calhoun eat at the same tavern as Sansa and Don't Trust Me, Bro and spot them. Sergean Calhoun talks to Sansa and asks her to accept Calhoun's protection. Sansa refuses. Don't Trust Me, Bro tries to have her detained, but she and Podric flee in one of those Scooby Doo-esque chase scenes. They more or less dispatch or lose their attackers, but Sergeant Calhoun wants to stalk Sansa to keep her safe.
But back at the wall, Jon Snow is at the mess hall. Jon says that although he's tempted, he's not going to take Stannis's offer. And just now there is the election of who should be the newest Crowmander. The acting Crowmander is running against this old man who no one has ever seen until today. Sam speaks up and throws Jon Snow's hat into the ring, so there's a three-way vote with the candidates Jon Snow, Acting Crowmander, and the old guy no one heard of until today. The votes are tied until the CrowMaester casts the tie-breaking vote.
Jon Snow wins.
I'm pretty sure this vote was rigged somehow so Jon Snow would have a valid reason to decline Stannis' offer. At least I hope, because over the course of the season Jon Snow has done nothing to merit winning any election. No, his defense of the wall wasn't enought to warrant being given the keys to its defesense. There is no way this vote is legitimate.
Also, because Peter Dinklage is contractually obligated to have an appearance as a series regular, Tyrion gets a nice -- but pointless -- scene to flesh out his character a little where Uncle Fester says they have to go to another city to go to Mereen. Oh, and people are killing dwarves left and right thinking that they're Tyrion.
Back to Bravos, Arya is about to get robbed by some youths when the appearance of the old man before frightens them away. Arya goes back to the black and white doors and sees the man from before. He gives her the coint back and the man revelas hmself to be the assassin fom before.
But again, in Mereen, Daenerys is starting to lose her hold on her people. She sends Dario and Grey Worm to track down one of the masked killers, and they find one, but the question is what does one do with him? Gee, Daenerys, if only you didn't kick out the person who gave you spot-on advice because he received a pardon? Daenerys, your IQ dropped ever since you spread your legs for Dario. You weren't this stupid when you were with Khal Drogo.
So she holds the suspect for trial, but one of the ex-slaves visits where the suspect is held on trial and kills him. This puts Daenerys in the position of having to kill this man.
But Daenerys pulls a Joffrey and makes his execution a public execution. So the people treat her like Joffrey and start fighting in the streets, The people now hate her.
But her big dragon comes back to her, then flies away. Now that her human children have abandoned her, her dragon child will remain loyal...maybe?
- Where is Baby Stark?
- Where is MiniTaur?
- Where is Mormont?