Episode 49: "The Dance of Dragons"
In the Snowfield, Stannis's horses sleep at night while Madame Red lights a lamp and looks outside. The encampment is on fire with a horse on fire running right by her. Ramsay Bolton snuck in the night with a few good men and torched their supplies.
So Stannis's situation has gone from bad to worse. It was bad enough that they could not march forward. Right now without supplies they cannot even wait out the snow squall. So what does Stannis do? More on that later.
Elsewhere in Bravos, Arya has the assignment to kill this old man. I actually thought she put something in his clams the last time, but maybe it was a test or something. Anyway she goes to the whole charade of posing as a fishmonger again today when all of a sudden she's sees Daddy Tyrell and his knight. Arya takes interest in the knight and instead of killing her target she decides to follow the knight to a brothel. Apparently he's also a pedophile and they bring him a girl who is even younger than Arya.
Also, in Dorne, where Incest Charming is seated with his NieceDaughter and his soon to be son-in-law. Incest Charming wants to go home and wants BSS to be freed. Prince Bashir leaves the decision up to Tristan, the young man, so Tristan says that BSS can be released on one condition.
Meanwhile the Viper Sisters are playing hot hands in their cell when the guards come, free BSS, and bring him back to the throne room. He's free to go, but the condition of his release is for the big guard to backhand him across the face, in retaliation for BSS knocking him out a few episodes ago.
Also King Tom Thumb conveniently wants his sister to come back home, so she will, with Tristan in tow, and with Incest Charming and BSS.
I have a feeling that somebody in the aforementioned Group is not going to make it out alive
Later, Prince Bashir makes Oberyn's widow to swear her loyalty to him. She then makes nice with Incest Charming and tells him that she knows he loves Incest Queen, saying that people looked at her and Oberyn the same way --
-- hold the phone. YOU MEAN THAT IS OBERYN'S SISTER? WTF? HOW MUCH INCEST IS THERE IN THIS SHOW?
Anyway, she says she understands how he feels about his sister.
Oh, and up north, Jon Snow leads the Wildling survivors to the wall, so no, they didn't all die in the sea and the boats didn't capsize. Even the giant somehow made it. Jon Snow is upset he couldn't save more.
Gee. See, this is our hero dealing with failure. It took five seasons to get to this point. At least you're growing, Jon, but this would have made more sense had some of this growth occurred before being handed the easy promotion you didn't earn.
Oh, but I said I would return to Stannis and oh, boy, this is wild one and a tearjerker. Stannis sends Crab Man away go to the Wall and ask for supplies. CrabMan knows something is up, but Stannis tells him to go to the wall and deliver the message. Before he does, he visits Shireen, and she is reading the book called "The Dance of Dragons." In it she notes that the Targaryen brothers split their kingdom in two fighting over it. Crab Man gives Shireen a little deer figure that he made.
So Stannis talks to his daughter and his daughter not knowing what he wanted said she would agree to help him.
Afterwards the guards lead Shireen out of her tent. She asks for father and then she realizes that these people are taking her against her will to be burned alive and she screams for her father. After a long while he comes out in the back of the crowd and so does his wife. Madam Red sets the pile of sticks on fire, and Shireen is consumed by the flames.
I don't cry at films or television normally. Even when something awful and sad, it's just a TV show. But my eyes did water up at the scene of a little girl -- who is sympathetic while being flawed -- crying out for her father as she is being burned alive. I mean they don't mercy kill her the way Jon Snow did to Nanook of the North. She burns up like all of those other sacrifices, and like that lady Daenerys torched for rendering Khal Drogo in a coma.
But in Mereen, we finally get our bread and circuses with the fighting pits. Both Tyrion and Deanerys are disgusted at the bloodsport, but Dragon Bait enjoys in and Dario wants to place. Of course, Mormont, who is now entering stalker territory, fights multiple enemies. At first he has trouble, but he eventually the last man standing, defeating the hometown warrior.
Then Mormont picks up a spear and throws it towards's Daenerys' tent, and his spear reaches a man has snuck up on Daenerys from behind. The Sons of the Harpy put on their masks and attack those in the crowd.. Dragon Bait is killed, and the remaining retainers of Daenerys and the queen herself are forced onto the arena. Although there are Unsullied Guards, there are more Sons of the Harpy and they're using hit-and-tun tactics.
Then who comes in to save them? The big black dragon, the one they didn't catch! He tries to protect his "mother" but the Sons of the Harpy, while retreating, do manage to puncture his hide with sticks. In part to protect him, she climbs on her back and orders him to take to the skies. So she flies away, ditching her friends for some quality time with her dragon.
- I'm in denial, but there are a couple of ways Shireen could have survived. Remember, I thought Bran was a goner after the first episode. The first method is misdirection. Madame Red could have used some chemicals to make it look like Shireen was a fire, but spirited the girl away from her presence.
- The other way Shireen could live would be if that Red Priest could call her back. I don't know if he's around, or it if will work on a corpse that has been swallowed by flame.
- I had do the summaries again rather I would call Incest Charming "Uncle Daddy" but Incest Charming it is.
- I don't miss Bran. I hope he stays away.