Episode 52: "Home"
We open up with Bran, who is now entering a flashback of young Ned Stark and his brother as children at Winterfell. Bran is now clearly older and even has a new haircut. Apparently, Hodor could once talk, had an actual name, wasn't a halfwit, and apparently, Ned sister and Bran's aunt is implied to have something to do with it. This is some real Attack on Titan shit here, except Bran is nowhere near as interesting as Eren Yeager.
Meanwhile, that fairy lady, FairyChilde, tells the Sister Act that she's going to need to protect Bran.
All the way on the other side of the world, in Mereen, Tyrion realizes that Daenerys' dragons are starving themselves. He then says his infamous line "I drink and I know things." So he decides to go down to the dragon pit and sweet-talk the dragons.
Even though he's terrified, it actually works and he undoes the chains on the dragons. The Imp can sweet-talk dragons and is being a better figure to them in one scene than Daenerys has been these past few seasons.
In Bravos, Arya is again visited by the Spoiler, who fights Arya again. Arya fails again. The Spoiler disappears and Red Sparrow arrives. He offers Arya food and shelter if she gives him her name, but she does not. He then leads her her away as she has [assed the test.
In the capital, King Tom Thumb is now even more visibly older and actually acts so differently that I thought he was stealthily recast. Seriously, he must have taken some acting lessons because he's much, much better than he was previously. Anyway, he hasn't let his mother leave the Red Keep, and instead she entertains herself by sending the Mountain out to kill people who talk smack about her.
Oh, and Incest Charming is stupid and threatens to kill the High Sparrow next to NiceceDaughter's corpse. You already raped your sister next to one kid's corpse and now you threaten a holy man next to another kid's corpse. You are going to have an awful fate.
But not as awful of a fate as Ramsay Bolton, who apparently decided that after Stannis killing his own kid and having her screaming wasn't bad enough, decides to reclaim the title of worst person ever. Ramsay wants to march onto the Wall and massacre everyone. His father cautions Ramsay to be careful and not reckless. Soon, his father receives word that his wife gave birth to a son, so Ramsay kills his father. He then leads his stepmother and his newborn half brother to his kennel and unleashes the dogs on them.
Also, in Sansa's group, the Waterboy leaves the group, and the Old Man of the Sea is also tossed over the side of a bridge by this guy for no reason, leaving Stephanie McMahon to be the heir.
But up north CrabMan and his pals are holed up in their room, and Mr. Grumps and crew are closing in. Who comes to save them? The Wildlings. The giant does a Hulk vs. Loki on one archer and all the mutineers, including that boy who grew six inches from last year, get put in cells. But, CrabMan wants to know if there was a way to bring Jon Snow back...
...okay, Stannis, his BFF is dead. Shireen, the princess who was like an adopted daughter, is dead. Instead of raising either of these two, he wants to consult Madam Red, who he never liked, in order to raise Jon Snow, a guy he barely knows.
Madame Red confesses that she's lost her faith. So she really didn't know that her visions were a lie and she wasn't secretly working with Ramsay? Okay, that would have been nice to establish a few episodes ago. Lady, you still burned a little girl alive, which, while ranking you lower than Ramsay Bolton on the evil scale, puts you pretty high on Santa's naughty list. CrabMan essentially gives her George Clooney's speech to the preacher in From Dusk Til Dawn.
And then so they get to work withe the dead raising ceremony, only for it not to work and for everyone to leave the room. Of course Jon Snow came back to life as soon as they leave.
WHY? WE WERE RID OF HIM! LET CRABMAN AND MADAME RED DEAL WITH THE WALL! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Seriously, if you're going to waste a resurrection wish, Jon Snow is an awful candidate. He took in Wildlings who have now taken over the wall. He's essentially a bad guy at this point.
- I thought it was established a season and a half ago that Ned was from MilkMaid Mountain. Apparently Winterfell has always been his home?
- Let me guess. Sansa's preggers.