Episode 64: "The Spoils of War"
I can't believe it, but nothing much actually happened this episode for the most of it. Arya comes home, isn't believed, but eventually reunites with her sister under the crypt.
Don't Trust Me, Bro gives Bran the knife that the assassin used to kill him all the way back in Season 1, even though he claimed it was Tyrion's knife before. Was he lying them or is he lying now? Anyway, Don't Trust Me, Bro gives it to Arya. Bran, Arya, and Sansa catch up under the old oak tree.
Oh, and the Sister Act leaves Bran in a scene utterly devoid of chemistry. It was supposed to be a bitter goodbye...but I don't think either of these actors sold it, especially Bran's actor.
There are a lot of nice character moments, like Sergrean Calhoun vs Arya, and all three Starks are now united. Jon Snow talks to Missandei. Also, Incest Queen gloats to the Iron Bank that she's going to pay her debts with the spoils from HIghgarden, Granny Goodwench's home.
But the main story is in two locations. In Dragonstone, Jon Snow and Daenerys still. Crab Man takes Jon Snow to the Cave of Wonders, which looks like the cave Madame Red gave birth to the smoke monster. Anyway, there is ample dragonglass. There are also some ambiguous cave drawings, which Jon Snow shows Daenerys as proof that he's not crazy. She seemingly believes him, and in comparison to last episode, their actual attitudes are softening in terms of "aggressive negotiations" but they can't come to a deal.
To make matter worse Daenerys is now worried by the latest news. She gets word that even though Casterly Rock was taken by her Unsullied, her fleet is gone. So she decides to listen to the late Granny Goodwench's advice and ignores Tyrion who tells her to not ride into battle with a dragon.
Of course, she doesn't listen and she rides into battle against Incest Charming. Incest Charming has raided Granny Goodwench's home of all its gold and is transporting it in a caravan to the Iron Bank to pay the Lannister debt.
Daenerys, though, rides towards the caravan...leading a whole horde of Dothraki.
It is a fire and bloodbath. The Lannisters are burned up and cut down en masse. But they do have a last ditch secret weapon, this giant crossbow which can pierce dragonhide. And guess who is firing it? The Best Sell Sword, BSS. He fires it. The first shot misses, but the second shot does wound Daenerys' dragon and it falls to the ground with her. However, he didn't wound it enough, and the dragon destroys the weapon when it lands.
But again, the dragon is wounded, and Daenerys tries to pull the giant bolt out of the side of her dragon. But Incest Charming sees her, and thinks he has a clear shot to charge her.
Yes, he's going to charge a woman next to a fire-breathing dragon.
Meanwhile, Tyrion is watching this from afar -- wait, wasn't he just at Dragonstone -- and chiding his brother's idiocy. Me, I'm cheering because I hope this rapist finally gets what's coming to him. So he charges, but the dragon sees him and prepares to breathe fire...and DOES.
But at the last minute, Incest Charming is saved, just like Rose saved Finn in The Last Jedi. But Incest Charming is knocked into some water with full armor. So he'll drown, right?
- So like that whole bomb of Jon Snow not being Ned's kid is now in the same category as MiniTaur on a rowboat. There are nine episodes left, and a lot to tie together.
- Then again, I see why Incest Queen got magically competent. There would be no way that she would be able to stand up Daenerys unless she suddenly leveled up in terms of evil.
- I wish Incest Charming wouldn't live. There's no reason for him to live. However, he has to live to deliver that Valyrian steel sword to the battlefield. So he's going to live.