I don't know how long I will be gone. I really don't feel like coming back. Not just on-line. I really don't feel like venturing outside of this house. I don't even want to be in this house. I don't want to be if inferiority is my only trait. For once, it doesn't matter if the Steelers upset Denver on Sunday. As much as I love the team, it isn't helping me out or making me into a more influential person. In order to live, I need to have some skill or knowledge that would make me proud, something I could lord over people the way they lord over me. But for all the years I spent in school and in front of the computer and console, I haven't progressed at anything. While I look back and see the awfulness some of the earlier papers, I look at my more recent essays and there's no refinement. It's all bad. Instead, it seems everyone else has gotten better in my stead and where talent was once in the few, it is in the majority to the point it isn't talent but what's expected.
I did have something I wanted to show, but after working on it for close to ten hours, I quit. So I guess there is nothing more to say.
