October 3rd, 2006

Sailor Steeler

Because I never get over things....

You know, I still can't happen but think about that day long ago. You know, the day about five years ago in which most of my on-line friends and acquiaintainces and admitted that they were sharing and laughing at all my e-mails all while pretending to be on my side.

Yeah, most people don't remember that, but I do. It was one of the lowest days of my life, to think that as paranoid as I was, the very people I trusted screwed me over for a laugh. Not just personal details about my life, but real names, pictures that I provided.

I was never the most trusting person before then, but I'm sure being called a "creature" based on my looks and a receiving a threat about being punched in the face didn't help.

So then I went to GTF, and I thought this was a batch of people I could trust. But toward the end I saw the same signs happening, and so I hatched my escape plan.

I went to ICVD, and even though I didn't open up as much the same thing happened. I trusted several posters in particular, and they in turn denied me.

I went back to GTF, and thought maybe it was time to open up and start trusting again. Betrayal happens again, even worse.

And now I have this horrible feeling someone is going to betray me yet again, even now I'm not really attached to a board. Is it just paranoia, or is it premonition?