February 2nd, 2007

Sailor Steeler

Nothing to say...

I know it's wrong for me to whine when everyone else has problems, especially when I really don't have problems in those same scale as others. Heck, I'm tired of whining myself. But every time, I start to see something positive and make an effort to something, or even when it's negative energy that drives me, it all collapses after a while.

Let's say I say, "Today I'm going to make this day the best day of my life." For a day, maybe two, I can actually make it work.

After that, I can't do it anymore. That "magic" idea that it's something new and beginning again is lost, and I'm even more disheartened than had I not tried to do something.

There's that overused aphorism that every journey begins with a single step. The problem isn't the first step. It's all the steps that come after it.

So after a while, you stop walking, stop talking, stop everything. I can't even get mad any more. I'm more than tired. I'm spent.
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    drained drained