September 11th, 2010

Sailor Steeler

3,000 people died nine years ago and nobody else cares...

Despite the title, I'm not going to write much about September 11, 2001 in this entry, not because it isn't important, but because it's the writer's block question.  I'm going to address something else now.

I don't know if it was because Brian Clevinger grew a conscience, if someone reported it to Tumblr on my behalf, or if it was Reddit, but that link to which I referred has been deleted as of this date.  Apparently, Clevinger himself didn't seem to mind that it was up and was willing to pin it on me, but after I whined about him saying I wrote it, it got deleted.  I am very grateful.

Moral of the day:  Whining works.
nangbaby, sprite

Writer's Block: September 11, 2001

What does this day mean to you?

To say it means "a lot" is like saying the Earth contains a lot of water.

This day, coming after my favorite holiday, Labor Day, is important to me.  I will not be overdramatic and say it changed my life forever, but it was one of the few days that I can say I know where I was when I heard the news.  I was at home, just woke up on the couch, watching a commercial for a tree stand with my mom. We both thought it was hilarious how the commercials made such a contraption sound so easy to manage, when in reality the product would result in a lot of broken arms and legs from falling.

So then my mom turned the channel, and there was breaking news with the headlines along the lines of "Multiple Plane Crashes."  At first, I thought this was the end of the world, or that there was some malfunction with airliner equipment that was causing planes to crash from the sky.  Soon it became clear from the footage, the multiple sites, and the reports that this was not an accident.

Then the first tower fell.  This was not the fiery explosion of a Hollywood movie.  It collapsed like a house of cards.

Then the second tower fell. This was real.

Still, at this time no one had announced any closures and got dressed and I went to the college campus in  preparation for class.  I didn't want to, but I presumed that despite all of the news, that the people in charge didn't think it was a big deal, and that we were expected to go along like cogs in the machine.  It was only after I had gotten there that they mentioned that classes were cancelled.  So I went back home, and as I heard the airplane jets soaring overhead, I realized that nowhere was safe.

I searched for comfort, so I went online more out of habit rather than anything else.  In the certain forums the political discussion was already shaping how people were glad that Geroge Bush was elected president.  I didn't care one bit one way or the other.  In fact, I couldn't write much of anything at all.  So then I wandered into a chatroom, only for a certain individual to joke about the stupidity of the people caught in the towers.  I exploded.   I was wrong for wishing bodily harm on that person.  It was immature, selfish, and wrong, and for my reaction, I apologized.  In response, the other person bragged there would be no apology from her end, because I took the events of that date too seriously, which eventually led to events I'd rather forget, but because of the date, I cannot.

Over the years I've seen people hijack this day for political ends.  From George Bush to Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck's little fundraiser.  For the most part, I have avoided writing or doing much of anything on this day, other than perhaps posting a memorial.  In fact, for the longest time, I protested that people were trying to move on too fast, and that we needed to stop, examine, then after time act. As a result for saying this, friends literally turned their backs on me. Ironic, then that they are the same one ones who now put on a fake show of being affected by the tragic events of that day.

As a result, the strongest testimonial of this day comes not from the mouths of people, but from the symbols of what was lost.  I still have the special Heinz ketchup bottle from when the Pittsburgh Steelers were to play against the Cleveland Browns in the home opener on September 16, 2001.  That game was postponed, and it meant that the first regular season game at Heinz Field was not on the commemorative date.  That bottle has never been opened, and in like manner this date will never be forgotten.
Sailor Steeler

An Open Letter To Mags

Dear magnus_samma (a.k.a. Mags, Magna Centipede, and 10,000 aliases I can't recall),

I never thought I would write these words to you, as I always assumed we would be best friends forever. I crossed two states to meet you, something I have never done for anyone else. We were each other's firsts in that regard, and even in the darkest hours, I deluded myself into thinking that even if we did grow apart and fight, that at least we would be honest with each other.

Today, you have told me that I was the only one being honest. In spite of our history, you have decided to be childish, choose one friend over another as if it were a playground game, and tell me in so many words that you'd hope I'd die because you have no desire to treat me like a human being any longer.

On September 11 of all dates.

And this is before lying about it.

I am completely aware of what you are doing. You are using my animosity toward woekitten as an excuse to be hyper-sensitive and throw a temper tantrum. However, you know fully well that the words I've written about her are true. Please follow me down memory lane to this particular LiveJournal entry.

Remember this entry from over three years ago? Sadly the image is no more, but even from the context it's clear that miluda commented on what woekitten wrote. You did not challenge anything I wrote then as untrue, either publicly or privately. You were perfectly content to agree with what I wrote, even though you were a friend of both me and woekitten at the time. Let's suppose you missed that, though. It's funnier that way.

I later included these words I posted a video on YouTube in 2008 in the days surrounding my grandfather's death. You watched it. You thought it was a bit whiny and that I shouldn't take what people said so seriously (even though, again, my grandfather had just died, and you were one of the few people I actually told about it since I don't beg for public pity). In fact someone else got the video taken down, not because of anything mentioned about woekitten.

So, no, I will not allow you to use the excuse that you are upset with me for pointing out something I have publicly mentioned long before the allegations against Tinsel Korey (which are as unbelievable as the "Brian Clevinger = plagiarist" rumors) entered the picture. It would be supremely ridiculous if it were true, and it's more preposterous to expect someone to believe it.

No, Mags, I can only conclude from your reaction that you are an amusing coward who couldn't think of a way to write, "I only want to hang out with people who are like me and hope you and your kind cease to exist." Had you decided to write that, I would have been hurt; to intently not communicate with someone and ignore them is just a few steps short of killing them. Instead you compounded this sentiment by the lie that I have demonstrated to be false. You went over the top in your attempt to dissolve our friendship, and as a result, I can't help but laugh at the faux rage you summoned. It only works in IRC RPs, dude.

You also can't lie and say you do not trust me, as you certainly accepted gifts from me that would require you trust me enough to enjoy them. If anything, it's me, Nangbaby, who can't trust you. I gave you my real name, my date of birth, my address, several pictures, my bank account number, time, consideration, and gifts for starters. You refused to give me a phone number, saying you weren't a phone person. At the time I believed you, since I'm not a phone person. The difference is I don't call my on-line friends, unlike you who openly admits to texting and calling your on-line pals on a regular basis (but I'm supposedly the liar here). You did not give me a forwarding address when you moved, yet you accepted any tokens of good will or affection nonetheless. I neither asked nor wanted anything in return, but as a friend I expected you to be loyal. That's what friends are -- loyal and steadfast. But the loyalty was one-sided. You got me there!

No, what's really funny is that it's no wonder why you have problems with interpersonal relationships. You seek out people who will use you, then turn your back on those who will not give you reciprocated attention. I told you before that woekitten was using you so that she could feel better about her accomplishments, but I dropped it. But then you decide to irrevocably dismiss me after you publicly proclaimed we'd be BFFs, because I wrote a few cracks about someone who is neither a relative nor your significant other. Had I insulted your NFL cousin by marriage (hey, I certainly wish the Steelers would have signed him), your snap decision would have been acceptable. Instead, you've decided to throw a public hissy fit in denial of words that were written (barely a month after September 11, 2001, no less) when you were on vacation. You betrayed me for 30 pieces of silver, and I'll admit I'm not even worth that much. All I can do now is be amused at my own foolishness, and mock this tall tale you're trying to convince yourself is true.

In short, thank you for revealing your true colors and giving all of my personal information to the "friends" you swore could co-exist with me. I only wish I had not trusted you with so much of my personal details and my generosity, as it gave you the opportunity to backstab me. I have to admit, that part's not funny. Maybe when you wake up and realize how inconsiderately you tried to hurt me you'll have a regret or two. However, the joke's on you. I understand that I can do better than trust and show compassion to a two-faced liar like you. I can only hope you grow up and become the friend you pretended to be. Otherwise, I will have no other choice than to laugh at the farce you continue to put up.

Farewell, my friend. Perhaps we'll meet again and you'll learn not to take things so seriously. You've certainly helped me toward that goal.


P.S. Don't think that making an entry public then making it private is going to erase any proof of what you've done. The last updated status on your LiveJournal profile reveals you've been up to something. Come on, man.