No, I didn't take anything illegal or use anything illegally. Right now I am under the influence of cold medicine for a sudden spurt of nasal congestion. It's not really a good or bad feeling, but a sense of muted optimism. I feel the wooziness and weakness of wanting to go to sleep without being sleepy, but at the same time I feel an overpowering sense of calm, like the people on Miranda in Serenity. I might get on some messaging device, though, because the pull toward sleep is getting stronger.
I can still argue, of course, but at the same time, I don't feel that need to express my views. I can do it, but I don't feel as though I must do it or die. On one hand, I still feel like I'm doing something stupid and the sense that I am wasting my life even as I write these words. On the other hand, the feeling is far less intense and more importantly all those stupid ideas that normally bother me ALL the time have actually shut up for once.
Maybe I do need medication, but then again, at the same time, I don't trust myself to do anything that requires any physical effort. My muscles feel like they've been drained of all their energy...and I don't care.