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Oh well...

Jul. 9th, 2006 | 08:14 pm

People wonder why I'm so negative.

It's not as hard to be positive when you have all the attributes and achievements your friends have, when you can see them and not be mindful of the differences between you and them because those differences don't result in them having more power over you. If deep down inside, you know that you hold no more weight over anyone than they do, then at least you know that you have something, relationships based on what you have in common rather than the innate power differences among people. But when those differences in levels are there, it consumes everything. You can't turn it off, because the heirarchy is fixed, and no one from a position that is higher is willing to give up their position to one who is lower.

And you know the worst part of all, while I might be a negative person, I could deal with it if people supported me in things that I do that aren't negative. After all, if the tactic of those in power is to band together and focus on their strengths, then if I really do have these supposed strengths, why don't you support my strengths? If you don't like it when I whine, why is that the only thing of mine that ever garners attention? Why not ask me about my comic, or ask me about something I made or was working on? It would be one thing if I were garnering feedback, or if I received positive words from somewhere else, but when I complain and people give that more attention, then it means that anything I do is worthless indeed, and all I can do is complain.

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Comments {5}

Spig

from: sin_ominous
date: Jul. 10th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
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Just to let you know, the author's input thing that shows up when someone holds the mouse pointer over any of your panels...*breathes*...is a whimsical idea. I should know because I love fourth wall humor.

I guess the reason that there's more coverage of your negative side depends on balance. By that, I mean is there an equal measure of good and bad contributions (and I don't mean solely by contributions of objects or panels; basic text counts), and with which ones do you promote yourself or talk about more passionately?

"Dumb question", "Let's hope this doesn't get closed.", "More whining", "bad writing poll", "Pigeonhole me", "A Stupid Idea", "Stupid DS Question", all topic lines from CMF, exemplify negativity, especially with the excess use of "dumb" or "stupid".

Now granted, you have a larger number of benign threads, especially in CVRPG Discussion, both in subject header and content.

It's just when you use self-condescending terms like dumb or stupid or whining, you know that'll start things out on a negative note. But the more disturbing thing is that these topics with such terms have larger post counts, generally by who is inviolved in the debates within (and I don't single you out, as far as players go). I'd say that if you strayed from such terminoilogy at the start, people wouldn't be expecting it. Of course, since you have been in your respective communities for a good while, it's going to be quite difficult, but not impossible to assure people that you can carry a positive rhetoric.

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Spig

from: sin_ominous
date: Jul. 10th, 2006 02:05 am (UTC)
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Also, the title of your journal is called "A Waste of Time". Does that not also imply negativity?

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Nangbaby

It's an accurate description!

from: nangbaby
date: Jul. 10th, 2006 02:21 am (UTC)
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I mean no one really reads this thing other than the few people who are listed on the Friends pages, so it is a waste of time.

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evil_kieben

Re: It's an accurate description!

from: evil_kieben
date: Jul. 10th, 2006 08:48 am (UTC)
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If it weren't for this LJ, the few people who read this thing would have even that much less interaction with you. And the fact that you yourself do read and reply to their replies indicates that their friendship does mean something to you.

I don't think it's a waste of time coming here and reading your LJ. Obviously I wouldn't do it if I did think that.

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Nangbaby

huh

from: nangbaby
date: Jul. 10th, 2006 12:55 pm (UTC)
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I thought you read my LJ because you were bored and had nothing to do.

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