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Aug. 1st, 2007 | 08:29 am

LiveJournal asks the following question, "If you won $100 this afternoon, what would you do with it?"

I'd spend it on two things I want that are $50 bucks a piece (I'm not telling you what they are), and then ask where I could get some more.

I only answer that because I'm not going to be even online -- even on LJ for a while -- despite the recent change in status in my journal. No, I'm not going to intentionally kill myself or someone else, but still, I'm just tired of the same song and dance routine where everyone is concerned. From IM to e-mail, and even to boards, I slowly weaned myself away from them, since no one really paid attention to what I wrote and everyone just wanted to agree with each other and call each other friends based on that. I just can't take being the only one in whatever I do or say that I feel is important, while everyone has already created their inner circles that by definition exclude you, especially when those inner circles include known jerks who have called you the worst names in the books. Still, I'm not talking about specific LJ comments or a lack of thereof, but there's a camaraderie that all of you -- yes, each and every single one of you, friend or unknown reader, male or female, yadda, yadda, yadda -- develop and I'm incapable of developing. They all get together and act as a highly coordinated unit, while the next thing you know you're fading away into the night, your voice being muted as you scream.

Kieben, you're right. Life sucks.

So I'm going to say Happy Birthday to Arty in advance, even if he too has his own pals.

Don't worry, I always bounce back. Soon I'll be crying about something else.

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Comments {1}


from: evil_kieben
date: Aug. 3rd, 2007 05:43 am (UTC)

Nope, nothing interests me anymore. I'm sick of family, sick of work, sick of food, sick of the internet, sick of video games. But most of all, I'm sick of being lied to.

Something isn't right with the world. Sometimes people speculate, and those speculations become fiction. I have my own speculations, but ultimately what can I do about it? Nothing.

Good exists only in a handful of people. And if people are all that we have to put our faith in, then evil has clearly already won.

Mankind is enslaving itself to the very powers that we were liberated from thousands of years ago. One day we're all going to wake up and be slaves. In fact, we already are. The only difference now is that some of us are aware of it. There will come a time when we are not aware of it, because in order to know that we are slaves, we must first understand what it means to be free. Which we won't.

Suicide, being the only means of escape, is still a non-option, due to a deeply ingrained moral belief system that tells us that it is wrong. So even those of us who know that something is very wrong with the world are still just as tainted by it's corruption as the others.

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