Nangbaby (nangbaby) wrote,

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Whining: Chapter 6,345

You know, other people just depress me. Not their existence or their lack of knowledge -- I'm no different than them in that regard -- but their success. Not monetary success or popularity, but just their ability to just "do" things. It frustrates me to no end how easily people are able to just "do" things and I can't. I think the only thing I can do about as well as anyone else is walk and see, so if I were to be rendered paralyzed and blind by an accident, I'd have no more reason to live.

For instance, I have a job, yet I'm the slowest, least knowledgeable person at the job site. This has been documented, yet fortunately no mention has been made of it as of yet. I'm convinced they keep me around only because I come to work, but even then I'm not capable of helping my co-workers out, even when they NEED help. They usually have to call someone else in to fix a mess that in theory, I could have at least helped alleviate. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it so much as it's easy money on my end, but it does eat at me because it makes me feel useless.

Outside my job, I have no slightly above average ability in anything whatsoever. In fact, I don't even have average ability in anything. Even if it's not art, people just produce, produce, produce. The only thing I can produce is waste.

No, seriously, I don't get it. How do you just DO anything? I don't mean "just do it." But isn't there inability some grabbing at you with the strength of the jaws of death, rendering you paralyzed as the fading sight and sound swallows you numb and whole?

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