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Dec. 11th, 2007 | 06:18 pm

Here I go running my mouth again after swearing off the Internet.

A few weeks ago, my grandfather had chest X-ray which discovered a growth in his lungs.  Not long afterward, a biopsy was scheduled.  My mother and I, who live a few miles away from my grandfather, took him to the hospital to get the biopsy.  Last week, the test results came back and determined there were cancerous cells in the region.  After talking to the oncologist, a PET scan was ordered to determine the stage of the cancer.  In the interim, my grandfather had already made an appointment with yet another doctor.  Today, my mother and I took him to that doctor.  The doctor was initially supposed to talk to him about his options.  However, the results of the scan were sent over.  The doctor basically told us the cancer has spread, and he as two months to live without treatment, ten months with treatment of targeted radiation and chemotherapy.

To be honest, I'm not actually upset by the news.  Everyone has his or her time to die, and if my grandfather's time is to be sooner rather than later, as long as he doesn't suffer needlessly, in some small way, I'm actually feeling far more optimistic about the future if he happens to pass away sooner rather than years later.  I love him and I probably can't fathom how much I'll miss him, and there are a couple of things I would have liked to have done with him.  Still, surprisingly, I don't have any real regrets.

What is worrying me, though is the aftermath.  The problem is that my grandfather is the prime caretaker of my grandmother, who has had several stroke and is visually and speaking impaired (more the former, rather than the latter).  Once he's unable to do the job, it's going to fall on my mother and I to pick up the slack (since my uncle isn't going to do anything significant to help).  That would definitely mean moving back up to my grandmother's house and away from the computer where I sit.  However, even the prospect of this is causing disagreements and arguments, and so it's not certain what will be done, then.

Unlike some people who would play this for public sympathy, I'm keeping this private for now.  And I'm disabling comments.  See ya.

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